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Chuck Norris Internet & Technology Jokes

Chuck Norris facts were born on the internet, so it's only right that the internet became one of their favorite targets. This collection covers the modern world: Wi-Fi that connects to Chuck, passwords that are just his name, and search engines that have to ask him for permission.

Unlike our programming collection, which is for people who write code, this one is for everyone who uses a phone. The jokes are ranked by community votes and updated as fans submit new ones about whatever technology is currently ruining our attention spans.

Yes, there are AI jokes now. No, the AI did not write them. It was too scared.

The Collection

25 jokes

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

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Every fact in this collection was submitted or curated by fans. Add yours and our moderators will file it here if it fits.

Chuck Norris Internet & Technology Jokes

The Collection

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"

Chuck Norris can rip a page out of Facebook.

Chuck Norris was exposed to the Coronavirus. The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.

Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.

Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.

Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

Submit a Chuck Norris Internet & Technology Jokes entry

The Collection

Submit a Chuck Norris Internet & Technology Jokes entry

One Chuck Fact.Every Morning.

One Chuck Fact.
Every Morning.