When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#338

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#27

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

#504

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#306

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

#409

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#336

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.