When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. 326 281 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 54% approval (607 votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.
Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.