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When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
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#89
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
#251
Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.
#513
When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"
#666
Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.
#255
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
#31
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
#368
The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.
#489
When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
#469
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.
#423
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
#221
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
#630
There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
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