Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

#324

One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

#261

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

#603

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#377

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

#530

Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.

#246

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

#515

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

#169

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.