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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
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#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#700
Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.
#440
Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.
#91
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
#107
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.
#330
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
#606
Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.
#446
In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
#740
Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.
#336
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
#102
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
#172
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
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