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Roundhouse your way through
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Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
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#355
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
#274
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
#346
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
#28
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.
#312
Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.
#494
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
#239
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
#244
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
#695
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#161
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
#607
Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
#42
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
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