Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

#38

The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.

#731

Chuck Norris can cut through steak with a plastic spoon.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#484

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

#595

Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#27

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

#177

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.