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Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
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#68
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
#683
Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#440
Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.
#211
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
#335
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
#581
If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.
#83
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
#675
Chuck Norris can bake in a Freezer.
#431
Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
#140
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
#389
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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