MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

#509

Chuck Norris' beard can type 140 wpm.

#277

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

#360

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

#102

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

#370

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#621

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

#83

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

#522

For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).