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MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
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#583
Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.
#262
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
#222
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
#393
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
#420
Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
#123
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
#491
Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
#56
Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.
#678
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
#168
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
#708
Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.
#370
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
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