Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#14

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

#359

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

#163

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#641

Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#637

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

#169

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.