Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9. 293 337 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (630 votes)
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris' co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.