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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9.
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#306
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#231
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
#286
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
#724
Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.
#464
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#547
Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.
#147
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
#227
'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
#91
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
#668
Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.
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