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#192
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
#195
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
#175
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
#19
Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
#239
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
#657
Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
#70
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
#481
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
#336
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
#537
If Chuck Norris writes code with bugs, the bugs fix themselves.
#598
Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.
#358
182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
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