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#629
Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
#614
Chuck Norris can watch the radio.
#588
Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.
#132
Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
#414
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
#31
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
#293
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
#480
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
#661
Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.
#334
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
#691
Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.
#525
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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