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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
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#400
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
#666
Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.
#305
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
#379
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
#636
Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.
#92
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
#188
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
#658
Chuck Norris can eat one pringle.
#741
Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.
#125
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
#110
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
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