When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#53

Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#130

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

#288

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

#460

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

#161

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

#375

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

#598

Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.