According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks. 324 362 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (686 votes)
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.