Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal. 286 314 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (600 votes)
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.