Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#342

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#107

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.

#144

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#506

Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.

#93

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

#654

Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.

#713

Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

#382

Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#53

Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.