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Roundhouse your way through
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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#244
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
#194
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
#159
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
#104
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
#498
MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).
#528
Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.
#170
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
#532
There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.
#666
Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.
#613
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
#361
All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
#395
Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
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