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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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#84
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
#174
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
#703
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
#338
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
#320
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
#291
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
#295
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
#470
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
#414
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
#697
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
#552
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
#667
The French talk to Chuck Norris in English.
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