Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him. 321 309 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (630 votes)
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.