Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#366

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

#299

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

#248

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

#545

Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.

#230

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

#436

Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#102

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

#415

Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.