Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#704

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

#166

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.

#170

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

#178

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

#588

Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#716

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

#471

Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#621

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

#462

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.