Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#656

Chuck Norris can go past the Character limit.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#114

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

#61

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#409

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

#568

Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#45

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.