Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

#62

Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.

#636

Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.

#745

Chuck Norris can swim on land.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#689

Chuck Norris once bought Chicago pizza in Seattle.

#674

Chuck Norris did it his way and Sinatra sang about it.

#82

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

#419

Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

#456

The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.

#471

Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.