Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

317 309

More Chuck Norris facts

#381

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

#670

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

#409

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

#27

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

#625

Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".

#4

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#26

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

#743

The moon's shadow doesn't dare follow Chuck Norris.

#600

Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.

#483

Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".