Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#679

Chuck Norris understands women.

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#550

Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.

#630

There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#118

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

#48

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.