Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#594

Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.

#455

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

#661

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

#463

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

#701

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#243

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

#356

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

#416

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.