Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

292 283

More Chuck Norris facts

#52

Chuck Norris' log statements are always at the FATAL level.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#665

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#596

Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#315

The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#322

Chuck Norris can taste lies.