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Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
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#186
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
#228
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
#635
Chuck Norris once sold eBay to eBay on eBay.
#378
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
#728
Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.
#223
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
#509
Chuck Norris' beard can type 140 wpm.
#641
Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.
#587
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
#716
Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
#125
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
#614
Chuck Norris can watch the radio.
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