Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way. 323 350 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (673 votes)
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.