Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#654

Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#530

Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.

#238

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

#48

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#662

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#510

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#601

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.