Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way. 322 350 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (672 votes)
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.