When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#570

A diff between your code and Chuck Norris' is infinite.

#458

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

#772

Condoms wear Chuck Norris for protection.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#248

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

#484

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#616

Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.

#632

Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!

#13

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.