When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#256

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#45

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

#323

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#409

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#33

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#272

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#665

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.