When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#153

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#356

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

#723

Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

#696

When Chuck Norris claps his hands thunder stays quiet.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#380

What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.

#599

How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

#466

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

#87

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.