Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#205

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

#716

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

#670

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

#560

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

#291

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#302

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

#600

Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.

#5

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.