Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

345 343

More Chuck Norris facts

#178

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

#137

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

#612

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#500

Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

#589

Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.

#367

In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.

#191

An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.

#446

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

#153

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

#601

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.

#673

Chuck Norris can tie his shoe while running.