Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#693

It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

#563

Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

#38

The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.

#413

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.

#716

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

#345

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

#301

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

#604

Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

#731

Chuck Norris can cut through steak with a plastic spoon.