Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#634

Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.

#241

Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

#721

Chuck Norris fought the law, and Chuck Norris won.

#338

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

#81

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#137

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

#344

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

#263

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.