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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
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#203
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
#330
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
#168
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
#139
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
#461
The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.
#342
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
#528
Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.
#18
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
#144
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
#389
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#771
Thunder is the sound caused by Chuck Norris kicking Lightning's ass.
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