Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

352 291

More Chuck Norris facts

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#544

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

#137

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#425

There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.