Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move. 305 352 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (657 votes)
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.