Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine. 266 264 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 50% approval (530 votes)
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.