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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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#341
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
#133
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
#677
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.
#437
Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
#317
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
#355
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
#525
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
#236
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
#96
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
#526
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
#424
When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
#534
Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.
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