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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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#403
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
#480
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
#736
When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.
#523
Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
#211
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
#80
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
#378
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
#141
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
#300
The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
#144
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
#81
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
#519
Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.
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