Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. 305 304 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 50% approval (609 votes)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.