Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

#526

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#510

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

#231

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

#712

Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#81

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

#72

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.