Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

#387

Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.

#422

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

#487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

#526

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#359

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#314

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"

#126

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

#463

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.