Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.

#747

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

#45

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

#181

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#666

Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.

#356

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

#714

When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.