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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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#390
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
#702
Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.
#254
Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
#384
Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
#489
When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
#15
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.
#199
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
#372
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
#104
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
#145
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
#93
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
#389
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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