Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.

#326

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

#364

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#504

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#26

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.