When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#81

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

#705

Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.

#227

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#397

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

#13

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

#618

Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#229

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.