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President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
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#532
There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.
#221
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
#82
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
#704
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
#489
When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
#504
Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
#558
Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.
#187
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
#391
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
#565
No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
#29
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
#708
Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.
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