Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. 321 306 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (627 votes)
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.