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Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
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#713
Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.
#348
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
#708
Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.
#513
When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"
#565
No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
#559
With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.
#680
Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.
#161
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
#557
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
#8
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
#189
There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
#381
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
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