Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. 320 307 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (627 votes)
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.