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#283
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
#94
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
#123
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
#314
Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"
#390
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
#8
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
#5
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
#663
Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.
#586
Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.
#700
Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.
#702
Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.
#249
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
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