If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you. 340 371 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (711 votes)
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.