Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine. 292 275 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (567 votes)
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.