Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#231

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#244

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

#658

Chuck Norris can eat one pringle.

#356

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

#367

In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#157

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#390

Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.