The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Hundreds of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

Vote on the legends, save your favorites, make a meme, or let fate choose your next roundhouse.

Give Me a Random Fact Play Fact Battles

Fact of the Day

November 06, 2026

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

Open

Today's Fact Battle

Which Chuck fact wins?

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris. VS Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Jokes by Category

Chuck Norris Programming Jokes Chuck Norris Math Jokes Chuck Norris Martial Arts Facts Walker, Texas Ranger Jokes Best Clean Chuck Norris Jokes Chuck Norris Science Jokes

The Rankings

682 Facts

01

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

02

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

03

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

04

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

05

Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.

Sponsored

06

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.

07

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

08

Chuck Norris caught a bullet by blinking.

09

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

10

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

Sponsored

11

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

12

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

13

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

14

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

15

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.