The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

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One man.
Zero weaknesses.

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Fact of the Day

September 29, 2026

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

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Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries. VS Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.

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682 Facts

01

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

02

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

03

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

04

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

05

Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.

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06

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.

07

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

08

Chuck Norris caught a bullet by blinking.

09

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

10

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

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11

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

12

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

13

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

14

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

15

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.