Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times. 404 339 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 54% approval (743 votes)
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.