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Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
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#665
Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.
#669
Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.
#93
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
#291
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
#689
Chuck Norris once bought Chicago pizza in Seattle.
#547
Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.
#616
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
#264
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
#695
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#255
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
#269
Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
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