Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in. 270 273 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 50% approval (543 votes)
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.