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Roundhouse your way through
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Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
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#86
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
#186
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
#410
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
#161
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
#450
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
#110
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
#404
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
#394
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
#220
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
#223
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
#197
Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
#129
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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