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Roundhouse your way through
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
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#319
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
#83
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
#423
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
#30
Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
#169
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
#239
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
#171
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
#564
No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it.
#340
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
#354
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
#716
Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
#286
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
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