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Roundhouse your way through
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The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
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#460
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
#346
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
#550
Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
#562
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
#251
Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.
#182
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
#7
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#569
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
#715
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
#381
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
#461
The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.
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