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Chuck Norris can swim on land.
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#622
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
#348
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
#714
When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#405
The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#442
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
#379
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
#712
Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.
#400
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
#335
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
#383
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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