Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

368 323

More Chuck Norris facts

#148

Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

#74

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

#505

It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.

#666

Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.

#729

Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.

#407

Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.

#428

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

#162

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().