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Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.
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#148
Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
#74
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
#505
It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.
#666
Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.
#729
Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.
#407
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
#428
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
#84
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
#393
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
#162
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
#184
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
#494
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
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