Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#593

Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.

#87

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#365

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

#673

Chuck Norris can tie his shoe while running.

#723

Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

#595

Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.