Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#45

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

#405

The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.

#555

Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.

#170

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#125

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

#686

Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

#66

If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

#14

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

#531

Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.

#180

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

#154

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.