Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#771

Thunder is the sound caused by Chuck Norris kicking Lightning's ass.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

#717

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

#5

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

#379

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

#620

Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.

#657

Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#285

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

#544

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

#102

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.