Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#607

Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

#93

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.

#573

Chuck Norris uses canvas in IE.

#643

Chuck Norris can milk ground beef from a cow.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#176

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.