Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#727

Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.

#102

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

#273

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#379

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#414

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

#416

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.