Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#564

No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#288

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#415

Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#483

Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

#613

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

#162

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

#556

Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.

#546

Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.

#771

Thunder is the sound caused by Chuck Norris kicking Lightning's ass.