Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

#435

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.

#161

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#227

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.

#719

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.

#300

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

#36

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.