Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#265

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

#522

For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).

#115

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

#121

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

#231

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

#644

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush. He roundhouse kicks it to the face.

#699

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#727

Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.

#402

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#499

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.