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Roundhouse your way through
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For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
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#262
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
#287
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
#609
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
#91
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
#104
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
#732
Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets, with 9 bullets.
#642
Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.
#56
Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.
#71
Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
#706
When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
#646
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
#183
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
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