Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#391

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

#435

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#245

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.

#486

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

#747

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

#123

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

#506

Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.