Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#13

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

#644

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush. He roundhouse kicks it to the face.

#321

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#230

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#632

Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!

#38

The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.

#583

Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#596

Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.