Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#724

Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#416

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#376

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#625

Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.