Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#54

Chuck Norris' programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

#275

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

#411

When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().

#348

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

#109

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

#166

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#19

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

#75

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#701

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.