Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#294

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#459

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

#370

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

#252

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#42

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".