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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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#340
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
#526
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
#21
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
#634
Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
#591
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
#715
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
#457
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
#592
Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel.
#614
Chuck Norris can watch the radio.
#247
Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
#593
Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
#773
While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.
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