Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#486

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

#628

Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.

#624

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#385

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#107

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.

#342

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#117

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.