There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#541

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

#511

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

#597

Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#628

Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#153

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

#661

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#667

The French talk to Chuck Norris in English.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.