When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father "You're the man of the house now". 46 48 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 49% approval (94 votes)
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.