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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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#5
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
#205
Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#82
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
#103
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
#134
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
#467
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
#406
The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
#437
Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#672
Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.
#67
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
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