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Roundhouse your way through
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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#667
The French talk to Chuck Norris in English.
#77
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
#257
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground
#140
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
#430
The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
#458
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
#377
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
#416
A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
#186
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
#526
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
#230
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
#719
Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.
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