In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#550

Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.

#392

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#587

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

#478

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.