In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. 340 301 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (641 votes)
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.