In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#277

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

#123

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

#245

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

#705

Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#528

Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.

#259

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

#671

The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.

#33

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#308

The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris' co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.