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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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#477
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
#13
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
#314
Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"
#672
Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.
#619
Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
#505
It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.
#507
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
#9
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.
#404
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
#111
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
#248
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
#385
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
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