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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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#71
Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
#492
Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
#712
Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.
#190
Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
#355
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
#294
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
#112
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
#482
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
#356
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
#522
For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).
#324
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
#94
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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