In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

#500

Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#244

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#638

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#207

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

#237

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

#446

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

#93

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

#552

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.