In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. 341 300 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (641 votes)
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.