In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

#509

Chuck Norris' beard can type 140 wpm.

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#705

Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.

#410

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

#443

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

#207

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

#745

Chuck Norris can swim on land.

#237

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

#413

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.